LEE-PING IN

"There's no place to hide - but I don't think I'm scared."

-This Side, Nickel Creek 

"You know, kid," she said with a mirthless smile.  The cut on her cheek was dripping.  One small drop of red-black blood fell to the ground; she had never bothered to stem the flow. "You really have no idea what you're getting yourself into, do you?"

"Of course I do," I answered with conviction.  I was proud of that - honestly, the woman was starting to send alarms off in my mind.  Master had pointedly told me to avoid her type.  "You can do your worst."

She was much faster than I had figured, and her figure belied that monstrous strength - a single blow, faster than I could follow, knocked me to the ground, and the night sky hovered over me.  The stars - I admired them before the world shrank to black.

Only this time, when I opened my eyes, the world was gone.

X          x          X

I'm not a fan of blogging, to be honest.  And let me assure you, when I'm not lying to your face, I can be brutally honest.

Sometimes it's just difficult for me to sit down and try to put words to my emotions or put emotions to my words.  I'm not good at expressing myself because most of the time, there's no one around to listen.  Or if there is, I just don't trust enough to actually open up.  It's difficult to explain, and even more difficult to understand.  But I guess that's why we write - to understand ourselves more than we did before, a little bit each day.  Learning about yourself is a valuable lesson, sure.  But that's really not what I came here to blog about.

Lee is going to be an author someday.  Not that she enjoys writing in third person as a hobby, but because putting pen to paper or fingers to keyboard is more than a hobby.  It's become that, over the years.  Because eventually, you find that when there really is nobody to talk to, the keyboard is all you've got.  And even though it can't offer advice or make you feel any better, the keyboard will be there for you, rain or shine.  Unless, of course, it breaks.  Then, well... there's always paper, right?

Anyway, I have to admit that I don't consider myself that much of an interesting person.  This blog isn't going to be filled with tales of adventures or wild teenage activities.  The most I do is maybe - oh God - stay up until eleven.  I like to sleep - I like it maybe too much - but I'm not going to let that get in the way of getting what I want.  Or who I want, but that's another story entirely.

I'm going to start this blog with my goals.  I don't have a lot of them, but they are serious goals and I'm going to accomplish them.  There is no question of if - only when.

Goal #1:
I will publish something.  It doesn't matter if it's a book of poems or a photo book of my cats.  Something of mine will be published.  I will be out there in the world.  I would definitely prefer if the something published was writing, but first I want to be out there.  I can worry about the little things later.

Goal #2:
I will learn.  Languages - I want to learn them all, the way your tongue curls for a Spanish 'r,' the way your inflection matters for Chinese 'cat.'  I want to learn languages so badly, but the education system in America seems to prevent me from doing too much.  This one might take a little more work than just typing, but I'm willing to put in the effort.  I want to learn.

Goal #3:
My writing will be finished some day.  I have so many things I want to work on that I can't get all my ideas straight half the time.  I want to create worlds - somewhere nobody can dwell in but those of my choosing, and it's already halfway there. There's so much out there for me to create, and some day, everything I want will be real.  It only takes some work on my part and the participation and encouragement of people who care - whoever they are and however much they do - and I'll be there.

Wish me luck, because I'm going to need it.  I'm not confident enough to do this on my own - much as I would like to be.  I'll do this, it just might take some prodding.  And a boost.  But I'm not giving up - not on this one.

So here I go.